I am the Luckiest Man Alive

So the other day I opened a book I have not opened in a long time. Inside were messages written by several friends from church back in Rochester. I remembered having been awarded the book during a marriage class Shawna and I took with 4 other couples. Each week of the course, someone won a book or some other prize for being the person who exhibited some positive marriage characteristic during that week's class.

The characteristic I was exhibiting the "most desire to meet my partner's need." It was dated February 2003. I think the date is what hurt the most. From this point for the next 30 months, my actions showed very little care or concern for meeting Shawna's needs. I loved her and the children the entire time. I was a provider. But I was also very sick (in the head, I don't think I've overcome that yet.) After I hit my own personal bottom, Shawna was there for me every step of the way.

She will probably be mad at for saying this, but I have the single greatest wife in the world. I love her deeply and am so grateful for her being in my life. I should never ask for another Christmas or birthday present--ever. I have been given so much. I think now it really is time I live up to the desire that people saw in me almost six years ago. I think I'm going to start by going on the Oprah show, jumping up and down on the couch yelling, "I love this woman!!!"

Thoughts on Plateaus

Sometimes, reaching a plateau can be a bad thing. If someone is said to have reached a plateau, that usually means they have stopped growing; they have a reached a wall and can go no further. Often, when we reach a plateau, we become satisfied, complacent, and we stop trying to push ourselves as hard as we possibly can.

When this is the case, then plateaus can be bad. I once climbed Pike's Peak in Colorado. At any number of places, I could have stopped climbing. I could have admired the view from where I was, thanked God for the beauty of nature I had already experienced and made my way back down to the base of the moutain. But I climbed all the way to the top. And it was tremendous. To have stopped at a plateau would have deprived me of one of the greatest joys of my life.

But I am starting to realize that sometimes, plateaus can be all right. Sometimes, we need a level place where we can stop and rest. We need to regain our strength before we move on. Back to my climb up Pike's Peak: there were several times we stopped to rest along the way; we needed to refill our water bottles; we needed to stop to eat the lunches we brought with us, etc. We needed to rest and rejuvenate before we moved forward.

Also, a plateau is a good place to land if for any reason we begin to fall. An occasional slip is not reason to think we must start over completely. Rather, we take the lessons we have learned in the climb we have already made; we learn from the fall so we do not make the same mistake again; and we become able to move even further forward.

I ramble this out at a time when I am firmly and comfortably perched on a plateau in my life. When I realized I was here, I was angry with myself for not being at the top of the mountain. It took a lot of prayer and some good friends to kick me in my back side to help me realize a time of rest is a good thing. I am resting. I am recuperating. I am being renewed day by day. I do not plan on staying here forever, but for now, I'm good.